Barely Breathing
by Lo Lovely
Summary: High School crushes don't last. For Aiichirou, it seems as if his crush on the notable swim captain had faded away. Now in college, his life has been drowned by essays, classes, and of course his part time job. It was easy to forget and to move on, and that's how life is. Aiichirou liked it that way, until a skype message appears and the sender was no other but Rin Matsuoka.
1. Prologue

The silence of the room beats against Ai's ears while the light from the window shift from one side to the other. The city of Tokyo is as busy as ever, yet somehow the room stays completely silent, nothing but the clock ticking as each second passes by. Not a moment later, Ai removes the covers from his body as he rolls out of bed. In his tiny dorm, Ai walks over to his desk as he opens the laptop that rest atop of the desk. Once the laptop was completely open, Ai squints his eyes since the screen was the brightest light source in the room. On the screen was a small message from Skype noting him of a recent IM that was sent by Rin.

Curious as to what the message was, Ai quickly clicks on it. Before he actually read it, his eyes quickly glance towards the time which read 2:43. The message from Rin wasn't too long, yet it was quite significant. Ai could only stare for a moment before a smile crept upon his face.

_rmatsuoka:_

_I miss you._

Ai drums his fingers against the keyboard while smiling to himself. An old senior whom Ai admired finally messaged him after a whole two years of silence. It made Ai happy but at the same time confused. On the day Rin Matsuoka graduated, Ai gathered the courage to confess to his high school crush. He knew that a structured relationship wasn't going to work, but regrets in high school are hard to forget. The last time the two has seen each other was bittersweet. Ai could remember how Rin smiled at him. From there, Ai could hardly remember what Rin replied, but knowing that Ai had the courage to confess made it enough.

_rmatsuoka:_

_I hope youre doing well._

The messages from skype were enough to get Ai in a giddy mood at three o'clock in the morning. Ai hasn't reply to both messages yet, but, rereading them over and over made the boy blush from excitement. With his palms sweaty, Ai began to reply.

_ducklingsavior:_

_I miss u 2_

_I hope ur doing well too._

After the messages were sent, Rin went offline. Ai stares for a moment or two before he gave in and closed his laptop. It's only five o'clock in the morning in Sydney, perhaps Rin fell asleep. Ai then glances back at his clock and it reads 2:54. Although Ai should probably head to bed soon, he doesn't. Instead he just walks back to the bed and lays down. He plans on sleeping in anyway. If he happens to oversleep, oh well. It wasn't an important class anyway; he could easily make up the work online. It's a great thing to have technology around.

As he lays there, Ai thinks about Rin. He wonders how he is doing, and he wonders if Rin ever thought about him. To be completely honest, Ai almost forgot about Rin up until now. A lot has happened, and it's silly to think about a high school crush. However, a skype message ignited a flame inside Ai's chest and the feeling itself had an uncanny familiarity that was welcoming and eerie at the same time. He hugs his body at the thought and tried to calm his mind. The more he thinks about Rin, the harder it was

to remove the redheaded swimmer from his mind. It came to the point of mental exhaustion where Ai's eyes grew heavy and closed.


	2. Chapter 1: Nostalgia

Ever since high school, Ai never enjoyed English. In a lecture hall filled with 150 students made it difficult for Ai to comprehend anything in his English class. As the professor ramble on about grammar and vocabulary, Ai attempts to keep up what the professor was trying to say while writing feverishly on his notebook. Ai forgot why he took the class in the first place, but after the Skype message he received from Rin, he suddenly remembered. Ai originally took the class in hopes to visit Rin one day and not have to struggle with English. So far, Ai seems hopeless.

"You look constipated" Ai snaps back out from his trance and turns his head towards the person sitting next to him. The guy next to Ai was rather an aloof character who seems to only go to class to sleep. Surprisingly, he gets the material and does well in his test. "Making that face won't make you any less bad at this class"

Ai narrows his eyes as his face scrunches up into a frown. "You know Sena-san, I don't need to hear that from you." Sena Jun isn't a bad guy, it's just his comments are unnecessary sometimes. However, Sena would often volunteer to tutor Ai, although he knew that Ai was a lost cause.

Sena yawns before straightening his back. He looked sleepier than usual but Ai doesn't comment on it. The guy always came to school looking like he barely had any sleep while at the same time looked angry at the world. However this time Sena looked like he hadn't slept the whole night. "Of course you don't" Sena replies. He pushes his hair thick blonde curly hair out of his face so he could get a better look at Ai.

"You look tired, Sena-san" Ai comments.

"No shit"

There was an awkward long pause between them with Ai tapping the top of his pen against his desk. "I'm guessing it's your roommate again, huh?" Sena nods.

"And something is eating you" Ai freezes at what Sena had just said. For some reason, Sena was very good at reading people and Ai is always a victim of it. "Bingo."

Ai didn't reply, instead he pulls out his phone and pretends to text someone. Sena frowns at Ai seeing how he had been ignored. Ai could feel Sena burn a hole through his skull and before the two could even speak, the professor announces that class was over.

"Let's go get some coffee, Nitori" It was more like a demand from Sena rather than a request. Even so, Ai complied. The two walk out of the lecture hall and walked about five minutes to the campus's coffee shop. Although the place was a hot spot for students, the shop was unusually vacant. Not that the two of them were complaining. More room for them to sit.

Ai got himself a latte, while Sena got black coffee. The two sit by the corner near the outputs so they can charge their respective laptops. Ai removed his laptop from his bag and turned it on. It's been almost a week since Rin wrote back, and no matter how many messages Ai writes to him,

there was still no answer. After Ai's laptop screen showed his homescreen, he immediately cheeks his Skype to see if there are any messages. There were none.

"Anything wrong Nitori?" Sena asks as he looks up from his own laptop. Ai just shakes his head in response. Sena looked skeptical for a moment but chooses not to pry.

Ai scrolled through his short conversations with Rin, but it seems as if Rin wasn't interested to talk to him although it was him who initiated the conversation. Ai was back in square one again.

"Stop looking constipated" Ai looked up at Sena and frowns at him. Sena himself was idly chewing on a straw looking more bored than usual.

"Why did you even invite me if you're here to insult me"

"I'm not, you're just making a face." Ai knows that Sena knows something but isn't saying anything. It bothers Ai a lot that Sena does this to him. "You've been making the same face for about five minutes now. I don't even think you're doing homework or studying, you're usually not like this"

Sena had a point. Ai was very much into his school work more than he actually was on his social life. His only friend was this bum seated in front of him since his swimming days were way behind him. Sometimes Ai wishes that it was just like the old times. He knew it will never be the same.

Ai never replied to Sena and instead just refocuses his gaze on his laptop screen. Rin's account stays offline for the amount of time Ai was staring at it. There wasn't going to be another conversation anytime soon, so Ai just signs out of Skype and chooses to do something else while he has wifi.

"Hey Nitori" Ai glances towards Sena once more. "Is it a girl that you like that's been bothering you?"

Ai nearly chokes on his latte. Although Sena was in the right track, but it shocked him that his friend could say this so casually. "I-it's not!" Ai protests. Sena just gives Ai a look as he drinks the rest of his coffee.

"You're a terrible liar, Nitori" Sena is sharp as ever. The blonde pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose then clears his throat. "Girls aren't really my specialty, but not talking about your problems ain't good, you know"

Ai could only stare in disbelief since this was the first Sena has ever shown concern. Usually Sena was a sarcastic, insulting, kind of guy who don't really care for much about anything, let alone, Ai's problems. Ai flashes Sena a soft smile before shaking his head. "It's okay." He says. "It's not about a girl, it's about something else. Don't worry about me" Although Ai knows that

Sena won't pry much, but Ai would now consider Sena as someone to talk to when he needs someone.

Satisfied with the answer Ai gave him, Sena didn't say much. Instead the two changed the subject to English with Sena trying to help Ai comprehend the material. As usual, Ai was hopeless.

Ai's last class was at 3:00pm and it was his day off. It means that Ai could catch up on his sleep or have more leisure time than usual. As he arrives in his dorm, Ai does not hesitate to fall onto his small twin size bed. His dorm was small, but it was enough for him. Although he does have to admit that his dorm in Samezuka was a tad bit larger than the dorm he currently resides in. Not that he minds at all. He also has to understand that he doesn't have a roommate anymore. The thought was almost lonesome.

Then, once his body relaxes after it hits the bed, Ai quickly grabbed his laptop out of his bag. Once on his lap, Ai doesn't hesitate to log into Skype, but much go his disappointment, Rin was once again offline. The obsessive checking of his Skype wasn't healthy, but it's been a damn week and still no word from Rin. It angers and frustrates Ai, leaving him to wonder why would his senior from high school message him after two years of silence. Not only that, but why did Rin have to tell Ai that he misses him. To Ai, it made no sense.

Angry and frustrated, Ai pushes his laptop to the foot of his bed, now wrapping his body with his big ol' quilt. Moments passed and a familiar alarm sound emitted from Ai's laptop. Ai slowly turns his attention to the laptop before grabbing it. His eyes widen at the sight when Rin Matsuoka messages again.

_rmatsuoka:_

_Hey_

Ai kept reading the same word over and over again. He can't believe it was Rin who had messaged him. Ai, a while ago felt that he needed to give up. Now, Ai could feel his stomach turning with excitement and nervousness. He knew that it was only Rin who can make him feel this way.

_rmatsuoka:_

_Sorry I've been busy._

Ai had to read those lines over and over again before the reality came back and realizes that Rin had messaged him. Nervous—absolutely terrifyingly nervous, that Ai was actually shaking in his seat. What should he say? How should he reply? All of these questions ran through his mind until another familiar beep came up.

_rmatsuoka:_

_I'm going to call you._

Before Ai could even react, the tone for a Skype call came up. Ai jumps to his feet and quickly answers the call. Upon answering, the Skype call adjust its resolution until Rin's face was clear as day. Ai was surprised how much Rin has changed over two years. His face seems more mature, and his body bulked up a bit too. Also, Rin grew a goatee which actually looks good on him. Ai could feel his heart beat against his chest. He could almost believe that Rin could hear it himself.

"R-Rin-senpai!" Ai manages to choke out. Rin smiles in return and leans over to the camera to get a better look.

"Stop calling me senpai" Rin protests. "I'm not your senpai anymore okay?" Ai just blushes and nods in agreement. Rin smirks in response to Ai's gestures. "You look different"

Ai stares back up at the camera, giving Rin a confused look. "I do?" Rin nods. Ai never thought he'd look any different than he did in high school. He was fairly short still, though he grew a couple of inches, and his body seems smaller now since he'd stop swimming. "Thanks I guess…" Ai blushes and turns away, hoping to remove the image of Rin smirking at him. He could feel it though; Rin was definitely smirking and Ai had no balls to turn to the camera.

"You look different too senpa—I mean, Rin." Ai catches himself before he could say the "s" word. Even if he did, Rin would respond negatively to it and would correct Ai on it. "Not in a bad way though. You look like a real swimmer"

Rin's eyes widens then soften right after. The soft look on Rin's face made Ai's heart beat even faster. It was one of those rare moments where Rin just becomes soft. Ai oved that about Rin. He loved every thing about the man and now after two years, the feelings remain unchanged. Rin never did gave an answer to Ai back then which made him curious.

"I-I mean you've always looked like a swimmer, Rin! You just look much more professional looking" Now, Rin was showing his usual peculiar set of teeth, while rotating his shoulder back. His muscles flex at each turn that got Ai almost turn most of his attention towards the large set of muscles.

"Yeah, training over here is pretty intense, especially since I've been competing against huge white dudes" Ai just giggles in response. "Hey? What's so funny?"

Ai shakes his head. "Nothing. I just miss you" The two share a smile, and a short silence. It wasn't awkward, it was more peaceful than anything. Ai watched as Rin's chest rise then fall while noting the length of hair Rin's hair has grown. Rin was more than a thousand miles yet Ai could feel his presence close to him. Ai opens his mouth to speak but quickly closes it. He wants to be selfish. He wants Rin close to him. Instead he smiles and says "I hope you do your best, Rin!"

It takes a while for Rin to answer but replies with a soft, "Yeah." Nothing much was said after that. Ai could tell something was bothering the man but wasn't going to pry. However, he feels that Rin was just probably lonely and homesick.

"Rin! Are you all packed up?!" Ai hears someone speaking English in the background. Due to his lack of English ability, he wasn't able to comprehend much of what that person said to Rin.

"Yes, Lori! I'm all packed up!" Rin replies in perfect English as always. Rin then turns back to Ai and slumps back on his desk chair. "That was my housing mother. She actually nags me more than my actual mother."

"Well, now you know she cares!" Ai responses. Rin could only smile at that. "Besides, I would probably nag at you too!"

"Are you saying you care?"

Ai's eyes widen now realizing what he just said. His cheeks turn read as he huffs his cheeks full of air. "Of course I do, idiot!"

"Oh?" Ai realizes what he just said and flushed furiously. "I'm glad to hear that from you then." Rin smirks at Ai's reaction to what he said. Before Ai could've said anything, more English words were spoken from the background and Rin responded right back at them. "Hey, Ai, I need to go. It was nice talking to you again"

Ai feels bummed out that Rin had to suddenly leave, yet he feels a little happy that he finally got to see Rin after two years. It's a nostalgic feeling and he doesn't want it to end. "I'm glad I got to talk to you again"

"Yeah me too." That was the last thing Rin said to him before turning off the camera.

Ai hugs his knees now feeling an abundance of loneliness. His chest feels heavy from the washed back memories that he had repressed for two years. How long has it been since he felt this way? How long has it been since he felt his throat clench up like this? It almost feels like he needs to cry. He doesn't. Instead, Ai just lays back down on his tiny twin bed and wraps himself up like a burrito.

The room suddenly became dark as the window was the only source of natural light. Then the light from the window shifted from one side to the other. Ai remembers the first time Rin messaged him. It felt liberating. However, after seeing Rin once again, felt like he was bound in chains.

As Ai lays on his bed silently still, his eyes grew heavy and tired until he could no longer open them anymore.

The next morning, Ai hears loud banging noises from his door. The poor guy slowly got up then slowly walks towards the door. He opens it to find Sena standing there with two cups of coffee. "You overslept, Nitori" Sena hands Nitori the coffee and gives him a notebook. "You missed your first class so I'm handing you some notes I've got from Kuroi. He said that the stuff you guys are learning isn't that bad."

Ai takes the notebook from Sena and places it on his bedside table. Without even saying a word, Sena invites himself inside. "So you came on over to bother me?"

Sena removes his shoes and walks hastily to the bed where he made himself comfortable. "No I'm here to make sure you're not late for your next class."

Ai just eyes Sena then glances to his desk clock. It read 11:32 and his next class was at 12:00. Then Ai's eyes widen in surprise as he hurries to get changed. At this point Ai didn't care about Sena seeing him in his underwear. Being in a swim team in high school only proved that Ai had no shame on changing in front of Sena. In fact, Sena doesn't seem to mind all that much.

"Hey Nitori, this isn't like you." Ai pauses for one moment, then turns to Sena with a curious look. "You're always on top of your game, you know? Right now you seem kind of out of it"

Ai can't deny he's been spacing out as of late. He can't entirely blame Rin either, but somehow, Rin could've been the cause of it. Ai doesn't want to outwardly admit that yet, so instead he smiles at Sena. "Yeah, I'm just a little stressed, that's all"

Sena just looks at Ai skeptically, but chooses not to say anything afterwards. "If you say so"

"Look at the time! I better get going!" Ai puts on his final article of clothing which is mismatch socks (due to the haste he doesn't have time to look for something of the same kind), then rushes to the door. Sena follows Ai closely behind and joins Ai with putting shoes on. After Ai had finished putting his shoes on, he gets up quickly then takes his school bag before swinging over his shoulder. "Are you ready Sena?"

Sena nods then opens the door for Ai. The two walk for about five minutes until they separated to their respective classes. Ai had to walk for another ten minutes before getting to his class. On his way, Ai wasn't paying attention so he inevitably bumps into someone in front of him.

"I-I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking!" Ai then looks up to find a familiar red hair atop a tall individual. Perhaps Sena was right about Ai being out of it. Ai bows apologetically before walking away from the stranger. Before he can walk any farther, the stranger grabs his wrist. "H-Hey! I need to get to class!"

"Even after two years, you're still the same." Ai stops struggling, then turns to the stranger who had most of his face concealed with a hat and his jacket. His voice and aura was uncannily familiar.

Then Ai put two and two together and realizes how it was. "S-Senpai?!"

The man removes his hat and those familiar red locks fall then frames that face beautifully. Then, he gives Ai a sharky, toothy grin that got Ai's chest racing a mile a minute. "Yo." There is no doubt in Ai's mind. This man was definitely, inevitably the one and only Rin Matsuoka.


	3. Chapter 2: Memories

"Something's bothering you, again" Ai looks at Sena who was chewing idly on a fry. The two had gone out to get something to eat that afternoon right after Ai ran into Rin. It was almost surreal that at first Ai thought it was just a dream. However, it was real; Rin was there in his university. "And stop looking constipated, people are staring."

"Sorry" Sena frowns at that response. He knew that Ai wouldn't respond with sorry. Sena knew that Ai lacked balls, but not to this point. Ai knew how to be bold with Sena's remarks. In this situation, he doesn't.

"Okay just spit it out already, Nitori" Ai was surprised at Sena's change of voice. He didn't think Sena would take interest in his problems, but the way Sena staring at him sort of intimidated and relieved him at the same time. Ai sighs in defeat and closes the textbook he had with him.

"It's about a senior I had in high school" Sena just tilts his head. "J-Just don't freak out when I tell you this okay?" Ai swallows hard as he clenches his fist tightly into a ball. Then, he leans over close to Sena's ear to whispers something. "I-I'm gay"

"That's it? That's your big secret? You have the hots on your senior, who's a guy?" Ai flushes at how casual Sena could be. Sena just sighs and leans his head against his palm. This small gesture usually indicates that Sena is interested in the topic. "Now what's really bothering you, Nitori?"

"W-well you see, my senior moved to Australia after he graduated and it's been two years since I saw him. Well, up until earlier today, I saw him on my way to class" Ai relived the moment as he covers his face with his palms.

"Then what happened?"

"Nothing...I just ran off." Ai cringed at his actions. He could've acted less rude and made the excuse that he was late to class. "I was talking to him on Skype last night, though. I don't know why he's here, or why he suddenly talked to me after two years, but it hurts Sena-san...It really hurts" Ai then places his head on the table and felt his chest tighten up at the thought of Rin. He didn't know why it hurts so bad.

Now feeling the situation got worse, Sena quickly stands up and takes a seat next to Ai. He then wraps his arm around the smaller male while comfortingly rub his shoulders. All Ai could do was scoot into the man's warmth and feel the comfort of home. "Don't kill yourself over that. Maybe he has business here, in Japan" Ai nods. "Now wipe your face, people are really starting to wonder okay?"

Ai does what he was told and lifts his head up. The last thing he wants is to have people stare at him for crying in a public area. Ai was never good at holding in his feelings, but he has to try. "I should get home..." Ai then collects his things and pushes them into his cluttered book bag. "I'll see you tomorrow, Sena-san"

"Don't oversleep this time, Nitori" Sena gets up to let Ai out as he watches his companion leave.

Ai felt a little better by talking to Sena about his problems. He never thought that Sena could be a helpful friend since all the guy would do was insult him with his constipation jokes. Ai does have to admit that he has a peculiar face that made him look constipated.

As Ai was walking home quietly, flashes of the events that happened earlier kept replaying in his mind. Ai could remember the way Rin's hand felt against his wrist. He pulls his wrist to his

chest, feeling the burning sensation against his skin. No matter how much Ai pushes the thought away, it comes back ten folds.

"Hey watch it!"

Ai snaps out of it and looks up to find that he had bumped into some stranger while walking to his dorm. He mumbles a small apology before makes his way to his dorm. About almost half way there, his phone vibrates in his pocket along with the Skype tone. It was probably Rin.

_rmatsuoka:_

_Did I do something wrong?_

_I want to see you._

Ai lifts a brow at the messages, wondering about the reasons why Rin decides to message him so suddenly. Why did Rin want to see him? Was it important? Probably. Did he want to go? His mind stops at that last question then ponders for a good moment. He probably does want to go see him. He pulls out his phone again and goes to the Skype conversation he had with Rin. The last thing he wants is for Rin to think that Ai doesn't want anything to do with him.

_ducklingsavior:_

_Where do you want to meet up?_

_I'm available right now._

Surprisingly, Rin replies almost immediately.

_rmatsuoka:_

_I'm in the starbucks by west hall_

Ai sighs then places his phone back in his pocket. West Hall isn't too far from here he lives, so walking there won't be an inconvenience. As he walks to his destination, Ai's breathing becomes ragged, while his palms sweat from a mix of anxiousness and excitement. How will this play out? He'd often ask himself as he walks to Starbucks. Two years and this is the surprise Rin gives Ai? It was pleasant and terrifying at the same time. The question is, how will Ai confront Rin?

After a good ten minute walk, Ai arrives at Starbucks. He enters the shop to be only hit by a sudden smell of coffee and warm pastries. His eyes scan the area until he found a man with an all too familiar red (fuchsia) hair. He thought about leaving, but Ai swallows everything he has to lose and walks up to Rin, sitting right in front of him.

Rin removes his gaze from his phone and turns his attention to Ai. Ai blushes in response, now averting his gaze away from the older man. "I'm glad you made it" Rin finally says. His voice was deep, deeper that it was back in high school. His face certainly matured, especially with that goatee Rin's been growing out. Ai's gaze went from Rin's face to his chest. As usual, Rin never got rid of the habit of wearing lose tank tops (but tastefully wore a sweater over it). It really showed off much of Rin's notable tattoo. It looked good on him, and Ai couldn't help but stare.

"Did it hurt?" Ai unconsciously asks. Rin in response just stare confused. "I-I mean your tattoo!"

Rin laughs a little at Ai's words, and leans back against his chair. "Yeah a bit, but I got it a year ago, so it doesn't hurt anymore" Ai wants to touch it so bad, but he's scared that Rin would feel grossed out. "You can touch it if you want" As if Rin read Ai's mind, Ai just blushes and moves slowly to touch Rin's tattoo. Ai wonders what sort of motivation made Rin get a tattoo, but he'd be lying if he thought that the tattoo didn't look good on Rin.

Ai pulls away after a good second of tracing his fingers along the tattoo. "How are you, Rin?"

Rin smiles at Ai which made Ai's chest race. "I've been good." A long pause was made, and Ai had no idea how to fill those spaces. "You look...good too"

Ai looks up at Rin once again and the two just smile at each other._ It's been too long_, Ai thinks. He almost wishes that Rin could just stay forever, but swimming in the Olympics had always been Rin's dream. Ai had other plans too. Studying marine biology was something Ai became passionate about just recently. The two had different paths that can't be crossed. Ai just have to accept his fate.

"Say, Ai, what's your major?" Ai looks up at Rin curiously. What's so important about his major anyway?

"Marine biology" Ai replies anyway. "I recently got interested in shark conservation and trying to stop shark finning, you know?" For some reason Ai feels that Rin might find his career path silly, but the older male didn't comment much, let alone insult it.

"You stopped swimming?" There was a tang of hurt in Rin's voice. Ai remembers the day Rin had a fit when he had told Ai that he was done swimming then proceeds to kick the waste bin. The sight was horrifying, but Ai was glad Rin was alright after.

"Yeah I stopped swimming" Ai fears what Rin could react. Ai knows Rin well enough that he wants Ai to continue swimming. "S-swimming isn't for me at all, Rin! I-I mean I'll be swimming a lot in my career though, not competitively at least"

Rin doesn't comment much, but instead sighs heavily. "I thought you'd do something like that. Helping wild life and shit." Ai felt relieved that Rin hadn't said much about his decision on quitting swimming. "Ah shit sorry, Ai…it's just I haven't seen in you so long that I—"

"I know" Ai cuts him off. "I know it's been a long time, Rin."

"I totally agree. Far too long" They two fell into a comfortable silence. Ai was fine with that. He likes it when he and Rin are silent like this. He likes to remember the time the two of them shared in Samezuka. "I feel like I'm at home already."

"I'm glad." Ai checks his phone to look the time. _6:37pm_. It's too early to leave yet, but this conversation is going no where. Ai wonders why Rin came back in the first place. He doesn't want to pry, but everything seems alright.

"You're probably confused on why I came back" That caught Ai's attention almost immediately. "I can't tell you anything right now. You're the only one who knows, not even Haru or Makoto knows about this, even Sousuke too."

Ai was surprised to hear that. Ai never thought that Rin trusts him this much, but after hearing all he said made Ai feel a little better. "You want me to keep quiet about this?" Rin nods. "Then why haven't you called me for two years? Or even sent an email or something?"

That caught Rin off guard. He opens his mouth to say something but quickly closes it. Ai suspects that something happen but he doesn't want to dwell into it. "Like I said, Ai, I can't tell you anything right now."

Ai doesn't want to admit that he's a little hurt, but Rin was going through something that Ai can't figure out. He's getting even more worried the more the two sat there silently. Was it wrong to worry? Perhaps it wasn't any of his business. Ai probably thinks that Rin only told him is because he isn't close to Haruka or Makoto the way Rin was. In a way it made Ai feel out of place. "Alright, but I have to go" Ai gathers his things and without another word, he leaves Rin behind.

Ai arrives in his dorm room feeling like—what's the word? Shit, as Sena would put it. He jumps onto his bed feeling the raw emotion he was just feeling moments before. Rin was back, but Ai had no idea why. He decides not to linger on the subject and go grabs his back that he had thrown onto the floor. From there, he removes the heavy text books he lugs around all day and quickly read through the material he learned.

The events that happened made it hard for Ai to concentrate on his studies. A million things jumbled together in his mind like a jungle. He thought everything was over, he thought that he wouldn't have to encounter Rin. He was wrong. He was very wrong. Feeling like nothing has been achieved, Ai takes out his phone to text Sena to see if he was available to talk.

_Sena-san r u there?_

Ai didn't wait long for Sena to reply.

_yea im here. wat do u need?_

Ai ponders if he should tell Sena how he feels about Rin at the moment and his conflicting feelings. He knows that Sena won't mind, but perhaps Sena would be too busy.

_nothing. nevermind, sena-san_

Sena replies with a _'k'_

Ai throws his phone over to his desk, not caring if it did some damage. He'd done it a couple of times so his phone should be fine. Not long after, he decides that going to the web would help him ease his nerves. So, he goes to where his book bag is and take out his trusty laptop. He turns it on and waits for it to boot up. It takes about two minutes for the computer to load Ai's desktop and another thirty seconds for it to open up google chrome.

The first thing Ai does is check his email. Not much was there except some emails from Momo who kept him updated on the swim team for the past couple of months. Then there were emails from professors whom Ai had the guts to suck up to ever since he started college, No harm in doing so right? After Ai checks him email, he logs out from his email, then, to go to some website by searching up cats. He looked through the image search for about ten minutes before turning off his laptop.

There was no helping it; Rin Matsuoka is forever burnt inside Ai's mind for the rest of the time Rin continues to appear in his life. Ai releases a frustrated groan before throwing himself down onto his bed. He checks the time again and finds that it's only 8:13pm. Time is going slower than usual. He blames Rin. He's blaming for Rin now, and he can't help it. He's the one who made Ai feel this way and Ai can't help but blame him.

Many moments later, Ai fell asleep, with his dreams filling the thought of Rin running through his mind.

* * *

><p><em>It was the spring of Ai's third year and it was time for the former upperclassmen to graduate. He was handed the responsibility of being the captain of the swim team, by the one and only Captain Rin Matsuoka. It was an honor for Ai to be able to be given such title but he'd often question why the older man gave him the responsibility to lead a whole team of swimmers of a powerhouse. Regardless, Ai was grateful for this opportunity.<em>

_The award ceremony was starting soon, and most of the swim team attended, to support all the third years and their futures. Ai watches Rin as the red head received his award. It ached to have to watch Rin move on. It was just a reminder that Rin was growing, and fast. It seems that no matter how fast Ai ran, Rin seems to be out of reach. He could reach for all his might and still not be able to reach at the level Rin is at. However, before Rin goes, Ai decides to tell the former captain his true feelings._

_After the award ceremony, Ai catches up to Rin who was happily smiling amongst his fellow third years. "R-Rin-senpai!" Ai manages to catch Rin's attention which made the boy even more nervous._

_"What is it Ai?" Ai freezes up but, approaches his senior is a slow pace. Rin saw what was going on and tells the other third years to leave the two alone. "Anything wrong?"_

_"N-No!" Ai lies. Then, he looks away from the older boy, in fear of fainting if he saw Rin's face. "I-I just have something to tell you" Now all of Rin's attention turn towards Ai. Ai felt his nerves ignite and all his brain is trying to warn him is to run as far as he can. "I have a confession, Rin-senpai. Y-You were my first friend here...and I feel that it's only appropriate to tell you this on your last day here in Samezuka, so I won't have any regrets." Ai pauses, takes a deep breath, then continues. "I-I like you...I've liked you from the moment I first saw you. I didn't realize it at first and the more I got to know you, the more I liked you. Please don't think differently of me!"_

_Ai bows deeply and waits for Rin's response and expect some sort of disgusted reaction. Instead, he gets an affectionate pat on the head. "I'm glad I got to hear that" Surprised, Ai slowly gets up from his bow and stares at Rin confused. "I'm glad you found your courage Ai. I'm proud of you"_

_All Ai could remember was how the cherry blossoms glide down the air. He remembers how clear Rin's expression was as he leaves the pool area for the last time._

* * *

><p>Ai wakes up from a very nostalgic dream. His chest was starting to ache again so he gets up from bed. He turns to the clock which read 5:24am. It's too early Ai thinks. He ponders about going<p>

back to bed, but decide against in and decides to go to the shower instead. After all, early mornings are always the best time to take a shower.

Ai hauls himself out of bed and grabs his things he needs for the bath. He walks out to the shower rooms. Once he arrived, he notices that the place was empty which was actually a nice change. Usually mornings were full with the boys in his floor. It made Ai feel safe. At least in here he can think properly for once.

As he approach an empty shower area, he starts to disrobe before turning on the shower. He made sure that the water wasn't too cold or too hot. Once the shower temperature was just about right, Ai steps inside and let the warm water hit his skin, making his muscles relax. He stays under the water for about two minutes before he starts on washing his hair. There, he feels completely relaxed, though he can't help but think about Rin. He then rinses the suds out of his hair then proceed to wash his body, Once he was done, he turns off the shower head and wraps himself with a towel. By now It should be around 5:50am. Ai gets dressed, freshens up, then readies himself for the day.

Rin won't bother him. Focus, Ai, focus. Ai breathes in deeply and he begins the day.


End file.
